I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief. With so much going into the pitching process and everything that has been going on up to this point I decided I will share just a bit about what my plans are going forward.
You know, I’ve shared the story several times of how I pitched this book 3 years ago and how long and drawn out that process was. This is project I conceived nearly 5 years ago and thus far not much has shown up from it. Tangibly. It has, in the business sense of the word, been a case-study in failing with flare. It’s a book that I have felt so sure of that I have gone to tremendous internal lengths to give this book every shot to succeed in the traditional sense of the word. I just know I have a solid story on my hands.
I’ve kept it largely to myself because I wanted surprise people with it, unveil it in some grand way when I showed you all a picture of the finished book in hand, but sadly that hasn’t happened. The last few days have been a lot to process. Most of it has felt inevitable. It’s hard getting a book published nowadays, but I do think there are some key take aways for every aspiring artist to consider from my own self-reflection:
Sometimes You Have To Realize Your Place For Now:
I’ve never been one to shy away from taking chances, dreaming big, falling hard and then getting back up again. I believe this is a good thing. I want to be willing to fail gloriously. Like “if I’m gonna go down, let’s go down in style” type thing. So I’ve pitched books, submitted paintings to prestigous contests I probably have no right to be a part of, take business chances and far more often than not, the dream in my head is never fully realized. But point is I TRIED.
It’s enough to make someone go batty. I mean how many times do you have to fall before you just decide it’s better to just lay there and take a nap?! But what if we think of this as failing upwards? Because I’ve been willing to take chances, I’ve pushed myself to learn and explore. I’ve looked at the talented creators I aspire to and said to myself “I can achieve that too!” and tried to. Each failure has taught a lesson, helped me grow as a person and an artist, given me endurance… All of those things to where you stop and realize, you haven’t really failed at all!
I took all of that though and thought to myself, why do I bang my head so much against the same doors? Is this worth it? Is there a better way? A more sane way? Thankfully there is…
It took a great deal of pride swallowing for me to realize one simple thing at this point… I’m just not there yet and I shouldn’t try and force myself to be. When I say that I mean… as a comics artist, I’m really an obscurity. I have no real creditials to my name. No real finished books (even my first graphic novel was just the first in a series)… This whole thing has been and should have been, about learning to be a professional. Gathering the tools necessary to handle the job. And I’ve spent the last year really focusing on that. I’m finally starting to see the consistent professional look to my comics I’ve always wanted and things seem to be moving along quickly with making this book, but I was still holding on to trying to pitch a book the traditional way… That’s not my place yet.
I need to be just out there, showing you guys what I am made of. Giving people a chance to read my stories, gather a following and just focus on telling the story. I’ve had a number of great friends share with me their “breaking in” stories about how they landed that publishing contract, or got contacted by an editor. All of them have left me with one bit of advice I just think I (wrongly) shrugged off for so long: Just focus on the craft, the work will come to you.
So after licking my wounds some, I regrouped and thought long and hard about this book and what it should be. Then I realized it should be my portfolio. My declaration to the world that I’m ready to take on the bigger projects. It should be the place where I put my nose to the grindstone and just SHOW you and everyone else that I am working on the professional level I believe I am. So I’m bringing it all back. Reasserting my goals with this project and annoucning I will be self-publishing for now. My goal is just tell the story. Get it out there and get as many people to read it as possible. Then, we’ll see where things take me. Seems simple enough, but failing upwards for me has been a five year process. And now I just breathe in deeply and get ready to share with you all, this book I have fallen in love with over the last five years.
I leave you all with that advice. I feel a bit like Solomon in Ecclesiastes warning the youth to abandon all folly. You can learn from my experience and save yourself some roadblocks and nonproductive work. I’ve worked long an hard at futily in this manner and if I can offer any bit of wisdom it would be: KEEP YOUR FOCUS ON BECOMING GREAT AT YOUR CRAFT. I have to believe if you do that, you won’t get ignored for very long.
I dont want to say yet what I’m doing with this book, but trust me I’ll let you know when I am ready. It won’t be very long.